Really, though, I think this entry might be more aptly titled, "Things that Annoy the &$#! Out of Vegetarians."
All vegans and vegetarians will roll their eyes in unison at this list of common reactions we hear when we are forced to admit, "I don't eat meat." Join me, herbivores, here are those aggravating inquiries; as my fellow vegetarians can believe, I've been asked all of these more times than I count, although they certainly all do sound ridiculous now, typed in a blog:
1.) What? You don't eat meat? Why?
2.) I wouldn't be able to do it. How do you live without meat?
3.) You aren't one of those crazy animal rights people, are you?
4.) Do you still eat eggs? Well, isn't that chicken abortion?
5.) Why did God put animals on the earth, if not to eat?
6.) Jesus ate fish. Are you saying there's something wrong with eating fish?
7.) Do you do it to lose weight?
8.) Is that why you're so skinny?
9.) You can't possibly be receiving proper nutrition. Do you have to take a lot of vitamins?
10.) Do you still drink milk? Doesn't milk come from an animal?
11.) Don't you miss meat?
12.) Does it bother you when people eat meat in front of you?
13.) This doesn't seem healthy. What does your doctor say?
14.) Are your parents vegetarians? Did they make you become one, too?
15.) I know some vegetarians who still eat chicken. Do you?
16.) I grew up on a farm, and we just had to eat meat. Did you grow up in the city or something?
17.) Plants are living things. Why is it okay for you to eat them?
And that's just the most common. I would at least hope there's a few meat-eaters out there thinking, "Well, some of those are just plain rude," but I would suspect many omnivores are nodding their heads in equivalent confusion, saying, "Well, what are the answers?"
So I will use this entry not to share a scrumptious veggie recipe, but to answer all of these questions for the thousandth time this month. (Yes, when you have a job where you are constantly meeting new people--such as bartending--you have to talk about this a lot. I have "the vegetarian talk" at least three times per shift.)
Here it goes.
1.) What? You don't eat meat? Why?
Yes, I don't eat meat. I can remember being a small child, maybe three, and crying because my parents were telling me to eat what I saw as a corpse on a plate. To my childish eyes, they might as well have laid the dog on the table, cut her open, and told me to dig in. I grew up in Robards, Ky., a 400-person farming community; there are videos of me as a child trying to befriend the pigs and goats in our barn and my mother screaming, horrified, running after me. I guess that because I was the youngest and lived so far away from people my age, our family pets and even the farm animals were my only companions, and I loved them the way I would love any playmates. However, my parents say that even before I was mature enough to understand I was eating an animal, I disliked the taste of meat. Simply put, the thought of eating a dead body does not appeal to me. It makes me lose my appetite, just the same as it would if you tried to feed me a human arm. I wanted to be a vegetarian all my life, and my parents finally gave in and let me take on the veggie lifestyle at age eleven.
2.) I wouldn't be able to do it. How do you live without meat?
Living without meat is easy. People do not realize how many options there are out there for vegetarians, which is one thing I'm trying to raise awareness about with this blog. Two things I always hear: "I tried being a vegetarian once, I couldn't do it," and "You must eat a lot of salads." It's hard for me to imagine not being able to stick to a vegetarian lifestyle, because all my life, I was waiting for the green light from my parents to say I didn't have to eat meat anymore. I actually stopped eating meat during elementary school lunches probably in fifth grade, but my parents still forced it on me at home during dinner, thinking it was best for me nutritionally. Perhaps it was growing up in the country, around a plethora of home grown goodies--hell, by age seven, I was growing and raising my own strawberries, grapes, watermelons, asparagus, and blackberries, not to mention helping my mother's herb garden and my father's fruit orchard--but I never saw vegetarianism as limited. Even fast food restaurants (which I shy away from anyway, preferring a non-processed, freshly-cooked, nutritional meal instead) cater to vegetarians--Taco Bell, for example, will substitute any beef item with beans, and Burger King has a veggie burger combo. Subway, Applebees, Qdoba, Quiznos--these are all places with vegetarian-specific items on the menu, and restaurants who don't have such items at the very least usually offer some side items. Vegetarianism is so much more than lettuce, and I really hope this blog proves that.
3.) You aren't one of those crazy animal rights people, are you?
I just laugh at this question. I don't think I'm crazy for not wanting to see animals slaughtered. I'm also not crazy enough to argue with someone who is already convinced I'm "crazy." Moving on.
4.) Do you still eat eggs? Well, isn't that chicken abortion?
Yes, I eat eggs. I am a vegetarian, not a vegan. (I can also be classified as a "lacto-ovo vegetarian.") Vegans refrain from egg and dairy products. Eggs are included in a large portion of meals out there; they're hard to avoid. And, honestly, eggs don't bother me. So a chicken laid them...but I'm not having to eat that chicken's corpse right now, am I? That chicken is still alive, isn't it? I am well aware that the egg industry is laden with problems, including questionable treatment of animals, and I do not wish to support that, which is why I normally buy organic eggs; the U.S. Department of Agriculture has guidelines about organic egg-laying that prevents a lot of mistreatment of the chickens. But it's very ridiculous and hypocritical when someone who eats meat and eggs tries to criticize me for advocating "chicken abortions." Just like human females, hens' bodies produce eggs no matter what, even without the presence of a rooster; the only difference is, they have to lay them when they get too big. Even if there is a rooster on the farm, the eggs are usually gathered after a few hours, too soon for a fetus to have formed.
5.) Why did God put animals on the earth, if not to eat?
I believe animals were eaten for centuries because it was necessary for the survival of the human race. Now, though, grocery stores can carry produce and grain stock year-round, and there are countless alternatives to eating animal corpses. Similarly, people used the abacus before there was a calculator, and farmers used to have to do everything by hand, before there were big tractors with which to plow. My point is, as the human experience widens, we become less barbaric, more civilized. We have refrigerators and microwaves now, and there are many more options when cooking. Meat is not a necessity now, the way it was in Biblical times!!! And I just want to ask all the suburban, day job-holding people who ask me this, when is the last time you went out, slaughtered a lamb, and prepared it to be cooked, anyway? You buy your meat at the grocery store, thirty feet away from where I'm buying my tofu.
6.) Jesus ate fish. Are you saying there's something wrong with eating fish?
After I became a vegetarian, my mother became increasingly interested in vegetarianism and became a pescetarian, or pesco-vegetarian, herself; this means that she doesn't eat any meat other than fish. Her reasoning? Jesus ate fish. (Jesus is also her reasoning why wine is okay to drink, but hard liquor is not.) To be honest, even when my parents forced me to eat me as a kid, fish was always the worst. It smells nasty, it tastes nasty, it's just nasty. Some people hate Brussels sprouts, I hate fish. Even if I ate meat, I wouldn't eat fish. It's just not my cup of tea. Nothing against Jesus--it's just a taste preference.
7.) Do you do it to lose weight?
No.
8.) Is that why you're so skinny?
I suppose avoiding Big Macs and whatever other fried fatty foods meat-eaters consume does help me keep off the weight. But, honestly, I eat a lot of carbs and cheese, and I have a tough time keeping an exercise schedule, so I'm guessing that genetics are playing a bigger role in my lack of obesity. I've definitely seem heavy vegetarians--I mean, come on, we can crush a chocolate cake, you know.
9.) You can't possibly be receiving proper nutrition. Do you have to take a lot of vitamins?
No, I don't take vitamins, although everybody should, regardless of your diet. And I'd wager that my diet is healthier than most college students': I eat healthy vegetables and fruits all day long, and hearty grains keep me full. I get lots of protein from soy food and milk, and nuts.
10.) Do you still drink milk? Doesn't milk come from an animal?
I was never crazy about milk, but I actually love the taste of Silk's chocolate soy milk, and I drink it every day. I never use cheese supplements--always the real thing--and I use Vitamin D milk as an ingredient when I cook or occasionally with cereal, because it is cheaper than vanilla soy milk and, again, no animals were killed getting that milk. I have the utmost respect for vegans who can avoid dairy and egg products, and I respect the statement they are making. But remember, I stopped eating meat because I didn't want to eat a disgusting corpse, and milk doesn't convey that to me.
11.) Don't you miss meat?
No, but I have been a vegetarian for nearly twelve years and truly love and prefer vegetarian food. I understand that not all vegetarians, especially newer ones or ones who do not know how to cook for themselves, are that happy without meat. I think many people have a tough transitioning time, which is why some vegetarians start out by just avoiding red meat. It is also why brands like Morning Star, Boca, and Gardenburger are so successful, because they imitate the tastes of meat with soy. I actually am not a big fan of a veggie burger because it does remind me of the taste of a real hamburger, but I do like to use soy beef when I cook and, I can't lie, I love soy chicken. For me, accomplishing vegetarianism before I finished puberty probably made the transition easier. Many of my memories of meat are very unpleasant--fish sticks, meatloaf, pork chops, yuck!
12.) Does it bother you when people eat meat in front of you?
No, not really. In fact, the smell of food with meat in it often makes me hungry, because it makes me think about my own cooking! The only thing that really bothers me is some seafoods--for example, catfish, which not only has a horrendous odor but is mostly served in the shape of the actual fish. So gross. I think many meat-eaters feel that way about lobster. Oh, but I do hate buying meat for my boyfriend when I go to the grocery store, when I'm forced to touch it and examine it and sort through it...eww.
13.) This doesn't seem healthy. What does your doctor say?
I don't think my vegetarianism has ever came up in a doctor's visit, because it's usually obvious that I'm healthy and have been eating well. I remember discussing it once while giving blood, and the nurse was astonished because my iron count was very high, which is extremely rare for vegetarians.
14.) Are your parents vegetarians? Did they make you become one, too?
My father is a meat-eater, although he grows all of his own vegetables and eats quite a bit of vegetarian-friendly food. My mother became interested in vegetarianism after I stopped eating meat, and she now avoids all meat except fish. So, no, they did not make me be a vegetarian. (I always want to ask in response, "Did your parents make you eat dead animals?") I will let my children decide for themselves which path they want to choose, but of course I will advocate vegetarianism.
15.) I know some vegetarians who still eat chicken. Do you?
No, I do not eat chicken. "Vegetarians" who still eat chicken are called "pollo-vegetarians." Here's the thing about fair-weathered vegetarians, or "semi"-vegetarians, or "partial vegetarians," that bugs those of us who are actually vegetarians: you still eat meat, and we don't understand why you want to be "half"-vegetarian. Questions about pollo-vegetarians and pesco-vegetarians are increasing rapidly, and it has us vegetarians fearing the worst. For example, I asked at O'Charley's if the potato soup was vegetarian-friendly, and I was told yes by one waiter. A waitress we knew came by the table to say hi, and she mentioned that the potato soup was actually made with chicken broth. I asked the waiter why he had told me it was vegetarian-friendly, and he replied that his sister was a vegetarian and she ate chicken. I was incredulous that someone could eat meat on a regular basis and still call themselves a vegetarian. Similarly, I was having a tough time at a steakhouse one night and asked the waiter what kind of sides they offered. I asked about potatoes, and he replied I could have them baked, mashed, scalloped, etc. I ordered scalloped potatoes and a few other vegetable items; he put the order in incorrectly and gave me scallops, which is apparently a meat dish. He apologized for ordering incorrectly, but carelessly said, "Well, you said you don't eat meat, so you can eat those, though, right? I'll bring out your potatoes." I stopped him as he started to walk away, and said, "No, take the plate, I don't eat meat, and this is meat." He said, "No, it's not, it's fish." What???? So, pollo-vegetarians and pesco-vegetarians, if the actual vegetarians of the world seem like we're annoyed about you...that is why--because it is now culturally acceptable to say that chicken and fish are not meat!
16.) I grew up on a farm, and we just had to eat meat. Did you grow up in the city or something?
As I've written about earlier in this blog, I'm a farmland girl myself. I grew up in a beautiful country homestead, our house hidden by cornfields. Yes, we had farm animals, too. Trust me, it's 2010, and this is the United States, so quit kidding yourself--you can survive in the country without having to slaughter your own animals.
17.) Plants are living things. Why is it okay for you to eat them?
This is one of those questions that feels so redundant, like the milk and the "chicken abortions" question, because I constantly have to repeat that I just don't want to eat the body of a dead animal. People will try to argue about, "How do you know that plants don't have feelings," and it's very tiresome. First, many plants are not killed by you eating their fruit, and some, such as wheat, are already dead when they are harvested. But, secondly, and most importantly, can you show me a society than can exist without depending on plants for nutrition? Can you have a healthy lifestyle solely eating dead animals? No. Can you have a healthy lifestyle consuming "dead" plants and never eating dead animals? Yes.
I hope this satisfies the curiosity of anyone reading this blog, including meat-eaters, but if it doesn't, feel free to ask me anything else. I'll definitely respond.
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